Finals diary, part 2: A slump

The optimism of my last post was perhaps premature: this week has not been so productive. Having sent my thesis to my supervisor I was sent back a long series of corrections to implement as well as a few extra reading suggestions. Getting through this has been more than a little bit stressful, but I’m almost there. I have more or less finished it: all that is left at the minute is to cut it down by 200 words to the word limit, and to proofread. Then it will need to be print, bound and submitted.

This has meant that I’ve hardly done any revision this week whatsoever. This is a bit of a disappointment, but I am really struggling to motivate myself at the minute. Today I slept until 11am and writing this blogpost is the most productive thing I’ve done today. I am trying to motivate myself enough to leave my flat and head to the library for a few hours in the evening, but getting myself ready to go has proved to be something of a struggle. The weather we had at the weekend was lovely, but unfortunately we are now back to slightly colder days and grey skys. The days are getting longer, at least.

There are a few things I will need to get through this week:

1. Have a read through of the prescribed Cicero texts in English so I have a good idea what happens in each of them.

2. Do some translation just to refresh my memory.

3. Review my tutorial essays and notes

4. Do 12 past papers for three options I particularly need to focus on

5. Get my thesis ready for submission

It is doable, but I am struggling at the minute with a kind of paralysing anxiety, which, in particular, is preventing from leaving the flat. I will overcome it – of course I will – and everything will be fine in the end, but it is troubling. I am consciously trying to avoid social media discussions of finals or revision since I find that it only seems to heighten the anxiety (and students have a habit of catastrophizing, and there can be a bit of competitiveness about “who’s the most stressed”. I want to avoid playing that game.)

I am still waiting to hear back from the British council about the job in Germany, but from what I can gather they usually let people know outcomes in the middle of April. Knowing the answer to that will take a lot of the stress off, as will having finally submitted my thesis. As for now, I suppose I just need to stop moping and get on with it.

UPDATE: perhaps as a result of the guilt induced by writing this post, I got myself to the library and finished editing and proofreading my thesis. It is now ready for submission, and I will print and have it bound tomorrow. 

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