Since my finals finished on Thursday, I’ve been feeling a lot better recently, less anxious, more optimistic and on the whole less “trapped”. I have been waiting to get out of Oxford for a long time, and now it feels like that time has finally arrived.
The last few days have been extremely busy. On Thursday I met a friend after my last exam for a drink, then crashed while watching the election. On Friday I went to celebrate another friend’s final exam before going to a pub for “one” pint at 6pm. Of course, I got home at 1am and another friend who was supposed to go home to London crashed on my sofa.
Yesterday I went to Eastleigh to visit my brother, sister-in-law and nieces, which was very relaxed. We went for a walk around Westminster which was really nice. I got back at 9pm then headed to a nightclub with another friend, as one of my coursemates was putting on a drum and bass night. Today is the first day I really have to myself, though I am meeting a different friend later.
There is a lot to get done over the next few weeks. Today I’ve started going through my belongings and tried to work out what I need to get rid of before I move out, as well as making a list of jobs that need to be done round the flat before we move out (defrosting the freezer, replacing a bit of grouting, things like that). I also have to sort out our final bills and deposits as I am the head tenant.
In many ways, however, this kind of stuff all seems so trivial compared with the stress of Oxford. I’ve moved so many times – the prospect of having to sort this kind of stuff out doesn’t really affect me any more. On the other hand I sometimes find myself randomly getting anxious, thinking about the possibility of having to do academic work again – and I then I remember it’s over. It’s strange that it’s only now that it’s over that I start to realize how much anxiety my course was causing me.