At the weekend I went to Echternach by myself, which I previously visited in October, for a short walking trip. I did part of the Mullerthal trail up to Herborn, about 14km, but had to turn back due to forestry works, although I had intended to go further. The next day I had to abandon my planned walk entirely due to blisters, so did a short walk on the trail around Echternach lake (4km).
It was a peaceful trip, and one which coincided, more or less, with the fourth anniversary of my attempt to commit suicide, which ended up causing me to take a year out from Oxford and completely derailing my life, at least temporarily. It is, in many ways, strange to look back at that time and remember it, given how much has changed since then. There are of course many people I have never told about this (some of whom may read it on this blog and be shocked), but over time the shame and embarassment that I very keenly felt about this incident has lessened, almost in tandem with the loosening of the grip depression, anxiety and general neuroticism has held on me, so tight and for so long.
The last few weeks have been a little bit more stressful than before, but this is mainly due to my having more freelance work in addition to my assistantship. I am trying, now until June, to keep the rest of my life as simple as possible, and have resolved, as far as possible, to look after myself and keep up the hiking.
I have more or less come to a decision about what I will be doing after my stint here. On Friday I was accepted into a CELTA course, which means that in the summer I will be making a temporary return to Ireland before going on to seek out work elsewhere. Although I have been very happy in Germany, it’s become obvious that TEFL here is not a long term option, as wages relative to cost of living are about 1:1, making it very hard to save. I am thinking Spain, Italy, or Poland, or maybe even Taiwan or Korea, as going to Asia would allow me to save for a masters in TESOL, which I am feeling more and more inclined towards. In any case there is no rush to figure it out, and advise/experience is welcome.
As I said before, it is likely that my posts on this blog will become more infrequent over the next while, at least. In any case, happy Easter.